It is guaranteed that in most aspects of one's life, they will occasionally be challenged along the way. Even the most successful person has setbacks. Why? I am a firm believer that anything in life worth having is worth fighting for. That said, the biggest culprit instigating many of these fights are our own feelings. My feelings have always been wrapped up in food. If you were to look up the definition of emotional eating, I do believe you would see my picture. Me. In front of the Reese's Factory.
Here are three situations that I have encountered in recent weeks where my feelings (good and not so good) have tested my resolve to no longer make food the center of my universe.
1) I've been doing SO well lately when it comes to my weight loss journey, I think I'll celebrate my accomplishments! I will treat myself to my beloved peanut butter cups as a reward!
2) I got into a really heated exchange with a good friend about something we both have really strong feelings about. Ironically, we both feel the exact same way about the situation, but it became a pissing contest about who needed to be heard more. Instead of talking TO each other, we started talking AT each other and before you know it, I'm sitting in my car steaming and ready to say to hell with everything and go buy myself a crate of peanut butter cups.
3) I lost someone very close to me and my grief became incredibly overwhelming. I just wanted to be comforted, but because I live alone (usually a great thing) my feelings and sadness became even more amplified. Food has always been my fallback to fill this void.
Now, here is how I actually reacted to these events...
1) Maybe there's something more rewarding I can treat myself to rather than peanut butter cups. Seriously. Do they deserve that much power? Instead, I bought myself a new book. I can honestly say that I enjoy reading almost as much as I do eating. Score for me!
2) Before driving off, I called my friend from my cell phone and apologized for raising my voice and getting hot over something we actually do stand united on. He apologised as well. This seemed like the more mature way to respond to this issue rather than taking it out on myself, which is what emotional eating does: it punishes you in the long run.
3) I was able to cope with my grief initially. I spent a lot of time crying on the phone with loved ones. It was the following week that proved challenging. Trying to maintain my composure at work and out in public when all I wanted to do was curl up and bawl, exhausted me. And when I'm tired and feelings are leaking out of me all over the place, I don't make the wisest choices. Suffice to say, I stumbled hardcore into the pit of eating my feelings...and eating the feelings of millions of other people world wide you would have thought based on my behavior. #EpicFailure
You win some. You lose some. This is how I try to look at my emotional eating problem. I'm proud of the times I'm able to step back, take a breath, and really consider my options BEFORE I do something I'm going to regret. And even when I do make an unwise choice, I'm in the process of trying to not punish myself or let guilt foster more unhealthy behavior. Instead, I try to reflect on the situation and have a an honest conversation with myself. Why did I do that? What could I have done instead? I own it and try to learn from it so that perhaps the next time I'm faced with a similar situation I can navigate it better.
Some of the best lessons we can learn come out of challenging experiences. Hopefully you can take from these experiences more knowledge about yourself, how you operate, and arm yourself with the tools you need to be a stronger, more successful person.
This Month's Reality Check: Remember you're human. With that, you will have feelings and reactions to pretty much everything you encounter in this life. The goal is to acknowledge your feelings, but not allow them to rule your life and be a catch all to excuse poor choices and decisions. You control your actions and reactions.
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